Trying in the Bush

This month has proved to be another month of ups and downs.  Our doctor decided to do a test run of clomid to see if I would ovulate on my own with it, so I started 50mgs on day 3-7 and then began testing with an opk on day 8...I was certain nothing would come of it, and day after day of negatives confirmed my fears.  Having PCOS means that tests like OPK's as well as pregnancy tests, don't work right, positives are just not something I get, ever.  Then day 22 the impossible happened.. I found myself staring down at a smiley face!! Woohoo! Success!!

As giddy as I was you would have thought it was a positive pregnancy test!  I called my doctor's office as soon as it opened (from school, I was substituting that day for the science/math teacher) and then the coaster plummeted back down....the doctor wants to do another trial run this next cycle as well, he won't be available to do an insemination and he wants to make sure I am regular.  I explained that according to my temps I always ovulate around day 22..but that was that, he was going to be out of town and we would have to wait until December's cycle to do an insem.  I am so tired of waiting.. I understand it, but hate it... then talked to hubby and he suggested that we do an in home insemination this month...I thought about it and thought, why not? No harm would be done, worse case scenario we don't get pregnant and it's money down the drain, but we both decided it was worth the try..there are no guarantees even doing it in the doctor's office that it will take..so this next month is it.. we will officially be trying....and if it doesn't work (and I am thinking positive thoughts right now.. one shot wonder!) then we will be trying the following month with the doctor!  Wish us luck!

I posted last time about the frustrations of finding my tube blocked and was waiting on news for the rest.  My doctor referred me to a physician closer to home, and he agreed to take my case on! The good news is that he is just one plane flight/boat ride/ ice road drive, away and that is going to cut our expenses tremendously down.  The bad news is he is not a specialist, however my Anchorage doctor has agreed to consult with him on my case, and he has top fertility specialists from Washington that he is also consulting with.  The hsg test revealed more then just a blocked tube, I also had some polyps in my uterus, so my new doctor brought me in and had those removed, fortunately they were small enough that he doesn't expect any scar tissue issues from them.  My FSH test was great, my numbers he said were fabulous, but my progesterone test was a different story, no signs of me ovulating.  This could be because Aunt Flow decided to show her face 12 hours after the test, ahead of schedule.  This month we are doing a trial run of Clomid to see if he can get me to ovulate on my own, I took 50 mgs, on cycle days 3-7...I'm now on cycle day 16 and no positive OPK...I'm so frustrated some days I just want to cry, I want one thing to go right..just one!  I feel so discouraged right now, like this is never going to happen, we are never even going to get to the point of having the two week wait.. I want to be crying over a failed cycle, not over the fact that another cycle has gone by with nothing happening at all.  If I don't ovulate this month, then he is upping me to 100mg, and we will try again next month, but I am thinking of suggesting we actually do a HCG trigger this next month, enough experimenting, I want sperm in me and I want it now!
On another note, I was thinking of changing the tone of my blog, I really would like to start writing letters to my baby, I need something positive right now, negative energy is not going to help us meet the little soul that is waiting to join us.  I decided to keep this blog as it is though, and start a different one, one entirely dedicated to our baby, and the journey to meet him or her.  This blog will remain just my place to share my ups and downs.
I will  include a link to that blog when it is up but may decide to make it private later.   I am also  including a link to my family blog on here, but please if you read there, respect our privacy we are not sharing with everyone our journey, so you will see no mention of fertility treatments or anything else over there, nor will you see a link to this blog there for the same reason, we went that route years ago, having so many people know and constantly asking us questions was painful and we choose not to do that again.  It is just a simple family blog about our life in Bush Alaska.